A Lifelong Battle
by Hemione Jean Weasley
Summary: The war has affected all of them, and some more than others. Join Hermione as she relives some of her darkest memories, and some of the happiest. Remembering leads to recovery. Will she ever be truly happy again?
1. Prologue

Prologue

The scars run deep. The physical ones, like mudblood, forever engraved on her arm, and from when she used to cut. But there are the emotional ones that harbour even more pain. The ones etched into her heart, drawing not blood, but heartbreak every time she revisited them. All the ones created by the death of a friend, a roommate, a loved one. The ones created by the rollercoaster of love, and heartbreak. But of course, there were happy scars too. If a scar can be happy. More like tattoos of flowers and rainbows forever placed on her heart. There were dark times, and there were joyous times, but no matter what kind of time it was, it was a memory, and the best way to heal from the pain, is by relieving the memories. All of them.


	2. Chapter one

**Author's note: Hey guys! So this is my second fanfiction, but the first one didn't go well, so it doesn't really count. Anyways, this is the story of Hermione's life, through some of her memories. Not all events are canon! Let me know if you think I need more memories/ events. So far, I have about two per year, sometimes three. The POV changes, sometimes it is Hermione's, sometimes it is the narrator. I hope you enjoy! Please read and review! And also, I do not own any of this, all characters and settings belong to the lovely JKR, most of the events belong to her as well. So here we go, starting off with year one!**

"Excuse me! Please, have you seen a Trevor? I can't find him!" Hermione turned around and almost slammed into the round faced boy.

"Trevor? Who's Trevor?" she said confused.

"Oh, he's my toad, Gran gave him to me. I'm Neville, Neville Longbottom," said the boy.

"Hermione Granger, pleased to meet you Neville," she grinned, extending her hand to shake.

"Nice to meet you too. Have you seen Trevor? Gran will be so upset if I've lost him," said Neville, Hermione began to notice he talked kind of funny, maybe it was just his accent.

"Um, no I haven't seen him," Neville's face immediately deflated, replacing the grin from seconds ago with a frown, picking up on this, Hermione continued, "but I can help you look. You go that way, check all the compartments. We'll find him, I'm sure of it," she finished with a reassuring smile.

"Thanks a million, Hermione! Let me know if you find him!" and with that, Neville took off, in search of his toad. A missing toad, not even half way through the journey to Hogwarts? This certainly was going to be a strange year.

Having no luck with the other compartments, the bushy haired girl was beginning to doubt they would find Trevor. Pulling open the door to the last compartment, she stepped inside to face two first year boys. The one nearest her had fiery red hair and freckles covering his face. The other, had shaggy black hair that stuck up at the back. He turned to look at her and she noticed his piercing green eyes.

"Have either of you seen a toad? A boy named Neville has lost one" The red haired boy was holding a wand in his hand and a pathetic excuse for a rat lay on his lap. He was the first to answer,

"No" Disappointed, Hermione turned her attention to the wand in his hand.

"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it then," she prompted.

"Ahem, sunshine, daisies, butter, mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!" the boy shouted, nothing happened.

"Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good is it? I've tried a few simple spells myself, of course, they've all worked for me," she walked over and sat down across from the black haired boy, "for example," she said as she pointed her wand at his glasses, "occulus reparo!" Instantly, the cracked glasses repaired themselves. "Holy cricket! You're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger, and you are?" she asked the other boy. In a mouth full of candy, he sloppily spat out "Ron Weasley."

"Pleasure," she said sarcastically, "you two had better change into your robes, I suspect will be arriving soon." As she exited the compartment she turned to Ron and said, "You've got a bit of dirt on your nose, just there."

At home in her bed, Hermione began to laugh. Little did she know that when she had met Ron it was the start of the most difficult relationship of her life.


	3. Chapter two

It had almost been two months since she had come to Hogwarts, and she still had no friends. She was always trying to hang out with Harry and get to know him, he seemed like a nice guy. The only problem was he was _always _with Ron! And she couldn't stand him! He was so rude, he always made comments about her being a know it all, and why couldn't she have been in Ravenclaw? He would always smirk when Snape would call her an insufferable know it all. At least she did her homework! And got good grades! It was Halloween when everything began to change for her...

"Ms. Granger, can I speak with you?" asked McGonagall, her transfiguration lesson had just finished and it was break. As Hermione was tidying up her things, she heard Ron whisper to Harry "She's probably mad because she only got a hundred and twelve percent on her assignment! Poor McGonagall probably has to convince her why!" Hermione was used to the comments Ron made, so they didn't bother her too much, what did bother her was the way Harry chuckled at the joke. Slowly the class filed out, leaving just Hermione and her professor. Harry and Ron were the last to leave, no doubt so they could hear what McGonagall wanted. Gosh they were nosy!

"Ms. Granger, I wanted to congratulate you on yet again a perfect essay! Well done!" exclaimed McGonagall. Hermione beamed, "Now, you better be off! Don't want to waste your break inside, on a day like this!"

"Thank you professor!" Hermione called, as she heaved open the classroom door. And who stood waiting on the other side of the door? None other than Harry and Ron.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you! Who gets a hundred percent on every essay!" shouted Ron. Laughing, the two boys sprinted off, in the direction of the courtyard. Hermione had had it! Why was he so mean to her! Well, for whatever reason it was, she wasn't putting up with it anymore. Pulling her bag over her shoulder, she sprinted off to the courtyard.

Harry and Ron had met up with Seamus and Neville, the four of them were laughing at something, which Hermione, being only feet away could not hear.

"I mean honestly, in charms yesterday she was unbelievable!" Ron said in a mock voice, "It's leviOsa, not levioSA! She's completely mental!"he cried. The boys all laughed wildly, especially Ron. It was too much, Hermione just could not take it anymore! She felt tears pouring down her face and began running, so no one would see her, as she passed the boys, she made sure to bump into Ron, so he would know she had heard.

"I think she heard you," said Harry meekly. The boys all hung their heads, they hadn't meant to hurt her feelings. Ron was especially quiet on the way back to the Gryffindor common room.

Hermione pushed open the door to the girls' toilet and locked herself in the nearest stall. A heavy flow of tears were now running down her cheeks.

"Why! Why is he so mean to me! What did I ever do to him! I can't help it if I'm smart and enjoy doing well, so I try really hard! And Harry. I thought he was a good guy, but he was laughing. Laughing the hardest, next to Ron of course. All I want to do is fit in! Why do they have to single me out because I'm smart? It's just not fair," Hermione thought. She was upset when her first cat died, devastated when her great aunt passed, but never had she felt this hurt in her life.

Many hours later, everyone was in the great hall, ready to start the Halloween feast. Everyone except Hermione. She was still locked in the bathroom, she had been there all day. Her eyes were red and puffy, and tear tracks lined her pale face. She wasn't the only one hurting though. Neville hadn't said anything since the incident, Seamus did not fight back when Dean Thomas started wrestling with him and Harry and Ron had not looked at each other the entire day, they ate nothing at lunch and Harry could have sworn he saw Ron wipe away a tear after potions. Dumbledore welcomed everyone to the feast and bade them to eat, but the boys did not. Ron had a chicken leg and Harry some mash, but nothing else. They felt much too bad, and they weren't even sure why, it's not like they had said they wished she would die. Even though they didn't know why they felt so bad, Harry knew they had to apologize. He was just about to tell Ron this when the doors to the great hall banged open! In came professor Quirell, red faced and panting. He had obviously be running a great deal.

"TROLL! In the dungeon!" he screamed, "thought you out to know," and then he tumbled to the ground with a sickening thud. Chaos rang out through the room, food being thrown, people screaming, people pushing, trying to get safely to their dormitories.

"SILENCE!" yelled Dumbledore, above all other screams, silence suddenly flooded the great hall, "prefects, you are to escort your houses to the dormitories. Teachers follow me." The prefects then began calling their houses, in a mad scramble, everyone found their house and began to make their way to their dormitories. Harry and Ron made it to the second floor before they realized something.

"Hermione! She's still in the bathroom!" said Harry. Ron didn't say anything, he just sprinted down the corridor as fast as he possibly could.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Hermione heard the _creak_ of the bathroom door opening. And then a BOOM! And another, and another.

"Hello? What is that? What's making that noise?" asked Hermione. No answer. She waited with baited breath, what could that be? Maybe something downstairs? No, something was definitely in the bathroom. But what? And then, SWOOSH! She barely had time to duck out of the way of the massive club before it came crashing through the cubicle. Debris rained down on her, and she barely had time to roll out of the way of a particularly big piece of it as it smashed the toilet, right where she had been sitting. The pipe burst and water sprayed everywhere, soaking Hermione. She tried to crawl into the next cubicle, but the troll smashed that one too, and the next. It was swinging its club wildly, barely missing Hermione. He destroyed every cubicle, leaving no where for her to hide. She was huddled under the sink when the door burst open and in ran Harry and Ron, they began grabbing anything they could; debris, toilet paper, broken tiles and hurling it at the troll.

"Leave her be, you foul git!" cried Ron. Hermione was dumbstruck. Had Ron just stood up for her? She was pondering this when she heard Harry scream something that jolted her back to reality.

"Hermione, MOVE!" she dove forward, narrowly missing the blow by the club that took out yet another sink. Another explosion of water. If only she had her wand, she could do something, but she had dropped it when fleeing from the club. Wait! That was it! Harry and Ron had their wands!

"Do something! Anything!" she cried.

"Like what!" asked Ron stupidly.

"Anything! Use your wand!"

"I don't know any spells!"

"Yes you do! Wingardium leviosa, swish and flick!" she motioned as she called. Ron nodded, determined. He raised his wand, bellowed "Wingardium leviosa!" and with a flick of his wand, the troll's club flew out of his hand and floated in mid air. It hovered for a second before coming crashing down on the beast's head. Harry and Ron scrambled to get out of the way of the falling creature. It crashed to the ground with a sickening thud. Hermione climber slowly out from her hiding place, "Is, is it dead?" she asked suspiciously.

"No, I don't think so, just unconscious," said Harry, "You alright Hermione?" she nodded.

"Let's get out of here! Before we get caught!" suggested Ron. The other two didn't need convincing, the trio left the bathroom and took off down the corridor, heading for the Gryffindor common room. Hermione's hurt feelings were replaced by joyous ones, ones of her first friends at Hogwarts.

Hermione lay on her bed, smiling. It took the professors weeks to figure out what had happened to the troll. They came to the conclusion that the troll was not intelligent enough to take care of itself and somehow managed to knock itself out. Hermione laughed, another secret of Hogwarts best kept that way: a secret.


End file.
